One Night Stand and Pregnant

Dear Tanya,

I don’t know what to do I have recently met someone and things are going great for us. We come from the same area growing up so we have a lot of similar interests and can really relate to one another. We have just clicked on all levels and I really see him as someone I can share my life with. I have been unlucky in love and so unhappy for so long so when he appeared to me it was as if an angel sent him. I feel so blessed. The other day we spoke and he told me he had to share some news. He had a one night stand eight months ago and just learned she is pregnant and about to give birth. This could very well be his child. He has been honest with me from the beginning and his encounter with her happened far before I was even a thought in his head. He has made arrangements to have a DNA test done once the child is born. The child’s mother does not reside in Virginia but if the child is his he has made it clear that he will take care of his responsibilities. He has told me that he loves me and sees us building a wonderful future together but I am fearful that if this child is his it will change the nature of our relationship. Please help should I stay or should I leave?
Signed,
Caught in a love triangle between a man and his child!

Answer:
It sounds like you already have your answer and are maybe just looking for confirmation. You cannot be upset about something that happened before you were in the picture and if you have ever been in a relationship before than you should know that it takes hard work. You have to compromise and maintain good communication for it to be successful. Nothing good will ever come easy so if you feel that he is being 100% honest with you, and see something good in him then I think you should stand by him and support him. He can be a father to his child without that interfering in your relationship. The fact that he chose to share this information with you says a lot about how he feels for you and what he hopes to gain. If he did not truly believe you would be in his future he could have kept this from you or ended the relationship before you even found out especially being that the mother resides in another state. Everyone has some sort of baggage it’s a matter of sorting through it and deciding what you can tolerate and what you refuse to put up with. That is why it’s crucial when entering into any type of relationship to examine not only a person’s words but actions as well. You can learn a lot from the unspoken word and these observations will help you overcome obstacles that will definitely present themselves during the course of any relationship. Just keep the lines of communication open and you will be able to handle anything that may arise.

Sincerely,
Tanya-Sabor HR
tanya@saborhr.com

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