Questions love for sister

Hello Tanya,

I'm in a bit of a bind. I am a proud homosexual. I had relationships in the past with some women but I came out 7 years ago. Now I am currently in a 6 year relationship with another man. He is great and all but I have been having thoughts about someone else. The twist is it's my sister. I have always thought she was attractive but not until 3 months ago when she walked in on me and my boyfriend having relations did I start to feel attracted. When she walked in she didn't expect to see us being intimate but was turned on. What should I do Tanya? I love my boyfriend but I want to be intimate with my sister.

Totally confused,
Pedro

Dear Pedro,
I would like to begin by saying I am glad to hear that you are comfortable with your sexuality. These days too many people get hung up on stereotypes and the norms dictated by society that they lead a life running away from their true selves. It takes a lot of courage to be open with your own sexuality and also to be willing to admit the feelings you have towards your sister. In order to bring clarity to the situation, I would recommend you ask yourself a few questions before you proceed in any direction. What is the true dynamic of your relationship with your sister? Was she the person who showed the most support while you were going through the process of coming out to your family and friends? During extremely vulnerable times in our lives it is natural for people to misconstrue someone being supportive and showing unconditional love for intimacy.

If you really analyze the situation you may find that you are feeling this way about your sister because she has proven to be a woman who is a positive force in your life. Having had relationships with women in the past and then coming to terms with the fact that you are homosexual could have really distorted your outlook on women in general. But the fact that your sister has remained a constant in your life and never showed you anything but love may very well be clouding your judgment. It is obvious that you have a lot of communicating to do here.

It is important to maintain healthy relationships with family members. Wanting to be intimate with your sister is something that if you pursue may bring you temporary pleasure but the damage it could cause to the two of you as well as everyone who cares about you both, in the long run would be catastrophic and not at all worth it. I am not here to make choices for anyone. I am not here to write the outcome of anyone's future. I am merely here as an instrument for advice and I do hope you will take a deeper look into the driving force behind these feelings you have and do not make any impulsive decisions. I think you will find if you take time and care while approaching this matter and maintain honesty with yourself and your sister the outcome will be one that would be favorable for all parties.

One last bit of advice on a lighter note, PLEASE LOCK THE DOOR WHENEVER ENGAGING IN PRIVATE MATTERS. Take care and feel free to let me know how this turns out.

Sincerely,
Tanya-Sabor HR
tanya@saborhr.com

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